More...
- AnonymousWriter05
- Jan 11, 2020
- 5 min read
Depression is more than just being sad and saying you have it... Depression is where your up all night thinking about all the things you did wrong in one day... It’s when you can’t walk down the hall at school because if you hear whispering you think there whispering about you... Depression is not being able to explain why you feel the way you feel and not being able to breathe right and your on the verge of tears when someone asks “are you okay” and you just have to say “I'm fine” but you don’t mean it... you wanna scream and yell that your not okay you haven’t been for a while. it’s painful watching everyone you love be happy and you have to wonder why you can’t be happy... You stay up all night thinking why your the way you are, how your stomach isn’t as flat as the other girls and how every other girl can be pretty and your stuck looking the way you do...So you look at yourself in the mirror and you cry because you don’t see what you want to see... You only see reality which isn’t always good… You walk around smiling but really there all fake and you can’t tell anyone or they’ll think that your stupid for feeling this way... depression is more than what anyone thinks it is. When someone asks “What’s Depression” some people just say “It’s when your sad” that’s not true Depression is when you don’t want to get out of bed because your scared of what might happen if you do... You don’t want to eat because if you do you feel guilty and feel like your fat... One person can make you feel this way and sometimes it’s nobody but yourself… some people hurt themselves because they think that since other people are hurt that they should hurt themselves and it’s just not fair that people have to be ashamed to be themselves because if they are somebody might judge and tell them to stop being themselves... What has this world turned into? I hate the way some people have to hide their tears and that they keep it all in the more you keep it in the longer you have the pain you feel… some people walk around like they have the confidence and bully people because they are self-conscious about themselves and they have to hide it because if they show it they will get ripped apart... people think that depression is being sad wearing dark colors and hating everyone... no, you can wear bright color and put on a smile so no one knows what’s actually going on. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb and no matter how hard you try the feeling won’t go away... everytime someone hurts themselves it’s a battle that they think they would win but they lost.. Depression is not a joke some people walk around joking about it... but when someone takes their life is when they regret it and everything they didn’t do or didn’t see and think to themselves and it happens to them they start feeling numb feeling that the last person did and it doesn’t stop until your no longer here..It’s like a cycle that no one can break no matter how hard you try… nobody should feel this way but the feeling never stops. Depression is when you think the world would be better if you killed yourself, that nobody would care. It’s hard to wake up in the morning and asking yourself if you should go on or not... everybody has that choice some choose to stay some choose to go and get on with their life for some people it’s not that easy they have to fight to even move an inch... it’s hard not to talk about your feelings because you hold them in for so long it becomes impossible to focus on a specific feeling and you don’t want to mess things up even more than you already have. You feel like even if you make a sound the world will be against you. When people make fun of people’s depression you’re pushing them further off the edge and then there gonna fall and it’s gonna be your fault for telling them that they shouldn’t feel the way they feel... depression is more, more than anyone could imagine. Depression for every single person is different. Depression is when you lose the people are closest to you because your “changing” and they can’t handle it because they can’t accept you for you… people walk around school without a clue that people feel this way because they hide it so well.. Not knowing people cut themselves as well as starve, burn, bruise, no sleep, purge, and many other things that could be considered self-harm.. And they hide it.. With long sleeves and pants even when it’s 100 degrees outside because they don't want anyone to know about what they have done because if people know then someone might tell adults and then it could get worse.. When you have depression you don’t want people to know because if they do they will go and tell everyone and think that your lying and all you want is attention but that’s not true when you feel this way you don’t want anyone to know so you put on a smile and say your okay but your not.. And it’s okay to not be okay.. But you have to accept that your not okay because if you don’t you could never get the help you need.. But also you have to ask yourself if you want the help. Everyone should want the help but some people don’t because there scared that if they get help the whole world will find out and judge them.. And rip them apart piece by piece.. Some people choose to stay for the fight but some give up and take the easy way out and forget about what they have.. They have friends and if not family.. And sometimes not even family but if you don’t have those things then do it for yourself, everyone should be able to fight for themselves so they can be happy and healthy but sometimes we don’t get the things we want.. And that’s sometimes good so we don’t become spoiled but also it’s sometimes bad because sometimes you need someone to be there for you so you can fall on them instead of the ground.. If you have someone there who loves you for you and doesn’t leave for anyone keep them close and don’t let them go.. Try not to push them away I know from experience that pushing people away is never the move I try to push my friends away even my sister who’s the person who’s always there for me and stuck by my side through every dumb thing i’ve done but it was always great in the end because i had her.. Find that person for you and hold on to them for as long as you can i have people who make me happy but sometimes that happy ‘high’ doesn’t last forever and it might go away but don’t give up. Stay strong and never give up because once you do you lose the fight against the demons and they take over and that’s never good keep fighting those demons and win the battle for yourself.
Comments